What is in a name...

Once upon a time, a rather cute, red headed nurse met a rather cute cop in the ER of White Plains Hospital Center (WPHC) on a hot July morning. That cop stalked that nurse until he got to ask her out on a date. She said yes and off they went.
For the life of her, she could not remember his last name, she just knew she could not pronounce it. At the end of that first date, she asked him his last name again...
"Schlusser"
"Say again?"
"Schlusser"
"Oh." she said...
"Okay." she thought, "well, it doesn't matter. It's not like I am going to marry him anyway."
She thought..."First of all, he is a cop, second of all, I can't say his name. Nope, not gonna marry a guy who's name I can't pronounce."

A few months later, while we stood at city hall filling out our marriage licence, "NAME" appeared in front of me...would I take it, would I not take it. Come on...
Who in the right mind would take "SCHLUSSER" if they could stay "BRENNAN" for crying out loud?
It wasn't like I cried in the office or anything, I just hesitated for a moment. As un~liberated as I may be in terms of feminism, I was still raised in a post~feminist revolution world. I stood still with the pen poised for just an instant and filled in the form...but the memory of the moment sticks with me even now. It was as if time stood still as I contemplated being woman and doing the whole roar thing.
What strikes me as so time telling is that what was once an automatic was now a decision. Only a generation and a half earlier, Ellen Durkin became Ellen Brennan with out a thought about it except perhaps to practice her new name. The same holds true for Cecilia Smith who became Brennan and Margaret Fedo who became Peggy Durkin...While they may not have liked the new name they didn't have any choice. I was the first generation in my family that did have that choice.
So what is the big deal? And why do I feel compelled to write about it? After all, I took the name didn't I?
Because somewhere between the burning of the bras and my marriage license a shift occurred in the conscience of we woman. No longer were we lemmings, we were individuals and that is not a bad thing after all. Kind of like sex, our generation made a decision if we were going to have it or not...no longer did society dictate the definition of good girl vs. bad girl. We made the decision for ourselves.
All good right? I don't know about that. Yes, in many ways, it is way more honest, but in the course of history, how many times has the quest for knowledge out smarted, at least for a while, wisdom?
We are told in the Word of God to seek after Wisdom and God will give it freely. But in terms of knowledge, once we have it, we are responsible for it. There are things that our God never intended for us to know. And once we know it, we can't unknow it.
Am I suggesting that it is bad to have a choice in names after marriage? Yeah, maybe a little. Before you start contacting Gloria whats her name, who eventually got married and now we don't hear from her anymore by the way....hear me out.
John gave me a really good ring when he proposed. I mean it is way, way, way good. A couple Karats that include both mine and Mom's diamonds. It is a RING! My mother-in-law told him he had to get me a really good ring so that when I was shaking the poop off the diapers one day, I might catch a glimmer on that diamond and remember why I married him in the first place! What a good woman she was!
But let me tell you, that ring, while still a contract, is an asset. More then once I have thought that I could sell it when things got real rough. I learned to wait on the Lord in those moments and I have to admit, I pretty darn glad it is still on my finger...but if in our nation, when things are so bad, there is ever a time I need to sell that really, really good ring for my family, I will. If it is a choice between food and ring or home and ring...off goes the ring into the shop.

The name I get to keep. John gave me his name. Think about it ladies, he gave me his name, and his name was pretty good until I started to wear it. I am no longer Maryellen Margaret Brennan, I am Maryellen Schlusser...Mrs. Schlusser to my kids freinds and teachers and I love when they trip over trying to say it. If I really don't like someone, I wait patiently until they say it properly or just smile as they call me Ma'am.

I did nothing to earn John's name. He gave it freely. His name is the only gift he can never take back. Even in court, a judge would have to decide that for him. He gave it to me for all of my life. Even in death, I still think on my mom as Ellen Brennan, not Ellen Durkin...There are certain gifts that are forever gifts. John Schlusser gave me his name.

So while my own girls will have to decide on moral issues even now and name issues someday, unlike their grandmothers and great grandmothers, I pray they accept the name of the man who becomes their husband. I hope someday, I have a daughter-in-law, who accepts our name, SCHLUSSER....

This morning, I am going to a wake. A woman in our church buried her daughter about four months ago. Today she is burying her husband...so much pain in one sisters life. I won't pretend to have answers to all that God is doing in her life...nothing I could say right now matters. We truly rest in the Lord's providence in seasons of suffering.

It just struck me as I wrote this, that today, she does not have to give back her husband's name. Even in death, she gets to keep it. She is still a "Mrs." and does not revert back to being a "Miss" and his name is her own. Maybe that is why our husbands are the priest of our homes and why we accept their name. This widow is still known by the name of the man she has loved all these years.
**********Remind me about why I hate the term "Ms." for another post someday, okay? Oh, how I hate that term!**************************

I am blessed to be given a name and to be taken as John's own in marriage. It was a gift freely given. Yes, dear feminists, I belong to John. He is my husband and I am his wife. John gave me the name of Schlusser to own as my mine. In Glory, I get to stand on the name my God has given me: Child of the King. God made me royalty and by his grace I am a Schlusser dirt side and beyond.

“The Lord our God has secrets known to no one. We are not accountable for them, but we and our children are accountable forever for all that he has revealed to us.” Deuteronomy 29:29