Yeah, I love Singing in the Rain. I often wake up my kids up singing that...and they usually groan and beg for five more minutes. Unless it's Jack...he just wants to wake up to a tickle!
If, however, any of them tried that on me...I would shout to kill! I wake up at O'Dark O'Clock just to avoid having to be pleasant with anyone until after my coffee. I am a bear disturbed from hibernation when I awake in the mornings at 4:50am...but I am bear after a nap too...
"Just give me five minutes with my coffee to wake up and then Mommy will answer why Dora and Boots won't play with Diego. I promise."
School has been back in session for a week already and I have gotten so much done! Yes, I have made meals, washed towels, scrubbed kitchen floors...and I've watched Fox News...and I have played Third Day at full tilt while the dog covers his ears in agony.
Oh and my prayer life since they went to school...wow. Yeah, wow...as in "are ya' gonna' get around to talking to Me, Mair? Or are you just gonna' try and figure this all out on your own?"
I was in the middle of a "I got it!" mode when I showed up in the living room with my Savior yesterday.
My plea?
"What? What do You want me to do? Where do You want me? How can I get this done with out You? I am going to mess this up if I am doing it alone!"
He said...nothing. He let me rant. Can you imagine not talking with your spouse for a week or two and then yelling at him for not talking to you? Yeah, me too. That is who I have been of late.
If you haven't read "God's Smuggler" you must. It's the story of Brother Andrew who was able to get the Word behind the Iron Curtain and now gets he smuggles it into Muslim countries as well.
We all love a good testimony but that is not what has struck me to the core while reading this. It's the communication Brother Andrew has with our God....and that got me to yelling.
"I want to hear from You! I want to hear You like Brother Andrew or David Wilkerson or that 'Cops and God' guy! I want that all the time. Not just sometimes, but daily. I want to hear, 'This is the way, walk in it.' from YOU! How am I going to work us out of debt or get anything done or start this new book, if I can't hear YOU?"
"Then show up." He said.
I cried.
Yeah, we all want to "hear" from God but then we get so busy in our chaotic lives that we forget how to hear.
Yesterday, He called me to lay it all down. To give back every good and perfect gift back to Him...you see when we do, He can bless it, and give it back again. Kind of a "This is my offering" thing.
Lets say you have the chance to be debt free. You work for years and years, save a few nickles and get the chance to live life with just a mortgage and even that is on the list of things to get rid of. Lets say, you start to tackle it all and start to get overwhelmed. Lets say you start to think a new kitchen, roof, driveway, furniture, some make up, a purse, a balcony, a trip~a big one, maybe a new car...all starts to sound plausible after a year of deprivation.
Then lets say, you read what Brother Andrew has to say about The Royal Way as it were. Would the King just leave His subjects to figure it all out with His bounty? Or do you think maybe He would show His kids how to be a good steward of all that He owns anyway? Yeah, me too...but only if you show up in His courts to ask for that guidance in the first place. Only if you give it back to Him...because after all, He is the owner of it all.
What if it wasn't just about a new refrigerator? What if this was true about your kids, your marriage, your time? What if you opened your hand and stopped holding so tightly and gave it all back to Him? What if you didn't stress yourself to the point of getting sick...just this one time?
I asked Him to show me how to handle the money, He did. It all went back to the fact that it is His in the first place.
Today, I plan to just show up and spend some time with Him. I have a feeling He is more then willing to show me a few more things. Chaos is never, ever from Him. He is after all a God of order.
4 comments:
Mair,
Do you read minds?! Because you have captured exactly what I think and feel so often - especially lately. I, too, have found myself on a "rant" - "WHAT DO YOU WANT, LORD?" I absolutely love the answer you got: "Show up."
The other day I got a simple, two-word response from Him, too. "Trust me." It's not like I haven't heard that before - I have, many times. But somehow, THIS time it sounded different. I heard all sorts of emotion behind it - longing, pleading, sadness, frustration...
I pictured in my mind a small child trying to do something on their own that they weren't able to do. And I could do it - I could help them. I kept trying to reach out, but I wasn't allowed to help. I held out my hand, for the millionth time it seemed, to that child who was now crying over their inabilities, and said with all the love in my heart, and with tears in MY eyes, "Trust me...please."
That's what I heard God say.
So, I'm going to try to just "show up" and "trust Him."
Thank you for your thoughtful affirmation that I'm not alone in my struggles - and that God hears every single one!
GOD BLESS!
"affirmation that I'm not alone in my struggles - and that God hears every single one!"
Okay, that just blessed the crayons out of me for reasons I shall blog on at some point. xoxo back at you dear!
wonderful post - erasing my chaos today by starting at His feet...
At 8:30 am I've already lived an entire life in one day. 20 minutes to quiet time with Him and some order restoring! Be blessed!
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