Ouch...

Recently, the Lord gave me a very clear direction. It made no sense to me. My intentions were pure. He even made it clear to me that there was no sin in this area that needed to be addressed. I have to admit, I kind of kept praying: "I don't think I did anything wrong! If I did, please show me, so I don't ever do it again!" And His response?
"No, you didn't do anything wrong. Now obey me."
"But..." I said back.
"Sew buttons on your hiney." He said. Well not really, but I can imagine Him saying that anyway.

At one point my emotions got the best of me and I did exactly what I was not suppose to do. I didn't mean to be defiant. I was trying to do the right thing...

Can you imagine what happened next? Yeah, I got BURRRRRRRN-E-D. Third degree burns all over my poor heart. Whipped my head around for sure. Heard things, that were not true...and left me with information smack off the tree of knowledge. That would be the tree Eve ate from...in case you forgot. I got an ear full of knowledge I had no business knowing, mainly because it had nothing to do with me.

...and than He reminded me of David.

In 2Samuel David & co. were transporting the Arc of the Covenant back home. God had given very clear instructions NOT to touch the Arc. No Touchy-Touchy, He said...more or less.
Well it seems the oxen that was carrying it, stumbled. Uzzah (the job foreman) went to grab it, just to keep it from falling. And what happens next took David's breath away:

"The LORD's anger burned against Uzzah because of his irreverent act; therefore God struck him down and he died there beside the ark of God." (2Samuel 6:7)

Right about now I am thanking God that I am still here. Harsh story right? Not one of our favorites, unless we are trying to teach our kids about obedience. And of course we usually try to soften it with how merciful God is...but on the outskirts of it, wow. At least according to conventional wisdom...harsh. Perhaps God could have sat the boys down and given them a good talking to about putting on their listening ears. He could have explained Himself to the boys for a good long time. But He didn't. Truly, fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. I, for one, am not going to make any helpful suggestions on how He could have handled that one. Nope. Gonna' let God, be God.

A couple of days ago, I was given the chance to be sucked back in. It was like a leaf fell off that tree of knowledge, right at my feet. All I had to do was pick up the darn leaf. That would be it.

Let me tell you, I kicked the darn thing. I yelled at the darn thing. I even jumped on the darn thing. I all but kicked the dog and spit in the fire ~I like that expression, and I am quite glad I got to use it this fine morning. And I yelled, all alone at that leaf. Heck it was completely unfair that it had even fallen into my yard in the first place. I had clearly told that leaf to leave me be...and yet here it was. I was all set to pick that thing up, make my point and be done with it...

I didn't.

I walked away, in silence.

Shhhh.

Because that is what God has demanded from me.

There may be another leaf from that tree of knowledge that blows my way again. I can almost count on it. I pray I have the chutzpa to walk away, again. I will wait on good fruit. Not always because I am hungry to eat from the Tree of Life...how is that for being transparent? I am simply convinced that the tree of knowledge has given me enough bad information to last a life time. And while I accept that little fact about myself, I will seek out the Tree of Life.

PS can I blame it on the kids that I wrote "arch" instead of "arc"? LOL! Love me anyway, won't you? Thanks! ;)