What a year. I was asked on Christmas Eve if I was still writing...yeah, just not sharing so much. I lovely woman approached me a little while later and told she was reading and loving my book. Wow I found the reader! It made my night for sure.
For Christmas John gave me a new bible and a new perfume called Sensual Nude. Yup...we are just fine.
So how do we close out 2011? Wiser, I hope. It was a year of learning and realizing, freedom and joy and sorrow and lose. In the end, even the good byes were the best things that ever happened to me. Turns out, I am way better off leaving the past behind...
That question in Isaiah~that you know I needed spell check to spell~is the one that is tugging my heart this New Years Day; "Will you not be aware of it?" Wow! And Wow? What I love most is that He is not asking me if I "was aware of it" but "will I be aware of it" and that is an important distinction. That whole 22 vision and hindsight thing. How easy it is to look back and know what I've done right (no not spelling wise) and wrong is not so hard when I am six months past...but will I be aware of that fact that He is about His work while I walk through that river or desert?
There are moments when we are blindsided by events in our lives. I've had a few this year. Things that made me spin around and ask, "What in the world just happened?" or "Where in the world did that come from?" But the truth is, those things were always there. We like to ignore things in our face because they make us uncomfortable...but that does not make them go away.
So not a lot of looking back and "pondering" for me this New Years Day. Instead, I am looking at all the pieces that seem dis-jointed and know that He is going to take us through the wilderness and create rivers in the desert places.
A few months ago, I began asking what the purpose of this blog was. What was the purpose of this ministry? Who? What? Where? and for crying our loud Why? It all seemed very Maryellen serving. As God would have it, He had a plan for this space in the blogesphere and a place for my heart to serve as well. Even when there are those who may have rejected my offering, He did not. He took it, made it clean and pure through His precious blood and gave me a new vision for a new tomorrow. Somehow He has wrapped this heart of mine with a love for His people~that began years ago...while I was not aware of the how of it all, I am now. He has kept me safe from those who would take advantage of a heart that longs to serve. He has shut doors that no man can open. He has planted my feet on the solid Rock of Jesus and removed the area rug on top of Him...so that I may not stumble when that rug got all folded up and yucky.
I got me a new business to go with this old blog of mine. Bread to cast upon the waters as I take in the Bread of Life...This is the year that Five Loaves Bakery begins to serve in ways that I cannot see yet, and goes in places I only dream of. I am humbled by the call~aware of my own short comings. I can do all things...anything that He calls me to. That blows me away. Here we come 2012~watch out. Gonna' get ya'!
