Friday, October 8, 2010

Dream a little dream of me...

That's me in my dining room/office. My daughter, Brennan took this. Notice the bottle of Windex on the table? Yeah, I was trying to get permanent marker off the table when I decided I was needed on Facebook instead.

This is where I come and meet you in the mornings or at night or okay, a good portion of the day because I am way addicted to the key board and screen. When I took the NYS typing regents, I had no idea what good use I would put that 90-words-a-minute skill.

I was told in my Sophomore year of high school...excuse me, I didn't attend high school....I attended a Preparatory Academy, but I digress. I was told that I should drop the academic classes and take secretarial classes instead....Maybe go to Katherine Gibbs in the City. I was told to not even consider college...good advice, given that I got a 750 on the SAT's, combined.

So I learned steno, a way deader language then Latin, I might add. And I scored an internship as a secretary at IBM my senior year. I didn't get the internship because of my grades, it was pure charm that got me in there. The teacher who organized it all, liked me. So she gave me a shot...I let her down when I quit before Christmas. I HATED IT!

In my heart, up to the ripe old age of 17, I had a plan: Become a secretary, no college thank you very much, marry the boss, make babies and live happily ever after. No, seriously, that was the whole plan. Oh, except that while I was the secretary, I would wear spectator pumps and great suits like Princess Diana.


Oh, and I would not be giving up the shoes once I had achieved the happily ever after status either...no way. I would wear them to the supermarket...like my grandmother did. I had it all worked out.
Except that I was a lousy secretary...and I HATED it, not just at Big Blue...everywhere. And so I ran to college and achieved quite the cumulative average of 0.05~and that does not just happen, it takes skill. Do you have any idea how many classes you have to cut in order to achieve that kind of average in a junior college?

But I charmed my way into a four year woman's college...didn't finish that either. I was pretty sure I could still marry the boss. I would just not meet him at work. I would need to meet him in a bar...a good bar. Like one of the ones on Wall Street...yeah, never got around to that...Thank You Jesus!

And then God called me to be a nurse...There was no charming the interview staff at Cochran School of Nursing. As a matter of fact, not one of them commented on my gray, suede pumps or fantastic gray plaid suit (it was a shorts suit, remember them?) but one of them did inform me that I would need to get rid of my acrylic nails...the sacrifice of a nurse.
There is no human reason I even got in to Cochran. When they asked why nursing, I told them about my mom (some of them knew her as a patient) and the fact that this was vocational. They let me in...And they were pretty sure I would fail the first test.
But I didn't...I made it all the way through and I adored proving them wrong. I got the whole package when I met John in the ER and we now live our happily ever after...I did meet the boss at work after all!

Why this trip down memory lane this morning? I have been dreaming again, while I scrub permanent marker off of my table or mop the bathroom floor (in between I kind of think bad things about the previous home owner who put down a white tile floor in there. Five kids, a husband and a dog do not do well with a white tile anything!) or while I am driving my mini-van taxi to and from the next assignment with the kids.

But I don't want anymore daydreams and fabulous Maryellen ideas to interrupt my life. I don't want to spend a couple weeks or months or years with an idea that is only based in M.e...I want His vision, His dream, His plan...and the steps to take to see it all the way to the end.

I have had an idea for a woman's conference for a few years now...but NO WAY was I going to do it. I've had friends in charge of those types of things and I have seen how those same conferences can wreak havoc in the home on children and marriages. Remember the whole Beth Moore~ism: "No amount of success in ministry is worth failure at home." I pray that every day...
The conference has turned into a Friday night event...And while I am excited by the idea, I have seen enough to be terrified of doing the whole thing. Not afraid of man, more a fear of the Lord...Holy fear. Because with out Him, it's just another fabulous Maryellen idea...and the world has had enough of those to last this lifetime.

...Oh, and it is doomed for certain failure by the way. No one will sponsor it. No church organization anyway. And it looks like it will be in February...in NY, that means snow is a good possibility...It will never get done. Just like going to nursing school after being told I would fail chemistry at the age of 15...Yeah, I got an "A" in college, when I took it unto the Lord.

So pray, my blogesphere friends. Pray when you think of it that The Lord's plan not meet with my resistance or fabulousness. He is so much more fabulous then me, don't you think? And I only want my dreams to be His will or rather I want His will to be my dream.

Oh I almost forgot! I don't wear spectator pumps around the house after all. I do wear shoes, just not the ones I thought I would wear...these are way more of a blessing!


Oh, and my toes are way cuter too!

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