Last night I forgot to set my alarm and realized it just as I was drifting off to sleep.
"Lord, could You please wake me up in the morning because.......ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ."
At 5:00am:
"KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!"
The thunder shook the house and all of Poughkeepsie for about 35 seconds.
"I am up! Any chance You have a snooze on that thunder, Lord? If it wouldn't be too much trouble, I mean." I curled back up....
20 minutes later..."KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!"
"I'm UP! Thanks Lord.!!!"
How awesome that the Creator of the Universe shook me awake!
He has been doing quite a bit of shaking around my heart of late so I suppose this morning is not all that different.
For about a month or so, I got way lazy in my prayer time. I know, shocking. My days would still include prayer during the day, but not any real, private devotion time to sit before Him. Spend some time studying His Word and just plain ole' be with Him.
And yet, I was still doing good things. I still had Christian music playing in the kitchen and I was still reading devotionals online...you know. I didn't go over the dark side or anything...I just stopped living on purpose and that can get a girl in a lot of trouble...
There is a wonderful song being played on Christian radio at these days. Take a listen:
Good and God filled song right? The thing is, the enemy of our souls can use even the good things in our lives if we are not living on purpose. I started getting all pitsy with John over just about everything. He was all wrong...Why wasn't He leading me and the kids? And why had he not ever heard this song? I know, I will download it and leave it on his iPod, I thought! You know that is right around the time the computer started to not do it's jobs...like download songs. Odd.
The more I marinated (notice I didn't say prayed on) on that song...the worse John got until we wound up in argument that he couldn't win...'cause I was right. The poor guy never had a chance. I was his very own, self-appointed holy spirit (notice the lower case there) and I was going to speak to his heart...Trouble is the Holy Spirit had already taken up residency in John and He was not about to receive a word from the likes of me on any of this. No wonder John walked away baffled and confused.
While I backed down, there was a tension in the air...martyrdom can get pretty thick, especially when I am so busy being right. It took a few days before I could hear the Holy Spirit trying to get my attention. So with a bid of begrudging I prayed:
"You know I am right here. I am, after all, quite spiritually mature. Or maybe..Okay, Lord, search my heart. Show me my sin. Hey, do You think maybe I haven't been in prayer as I should be? Could something like a song get me off track? It is a good song. "
"Yes, Maryellen. It is a good song. It is good that it has spoken to your heart. But maybe it is not John's song...and if it was, don't you think I would have orchestrated a way for him to hear it? I know well the plans I have for you and while I love it when you and John join Me in My work, I don't need you to get it done in John." He said.
"Oh." I said. "Sorry."
"Forgiven. Now go tell John the same thing. Love you, you know."
"Glad You do. What would I do if You didn't?" I asked.
"You don't want to know." He said.
"One more thing...could You put a new song in my heart? It is a good song after all...I know it's not mine or John's now, but if You have any good ones hanging around in Glory, could You pass it my way?"
"Already done my dear. Already done."
The next day this song started to be played on the air waves. It sums us up in three minutes or less...
Sometimes, I get busy doing good things for God and forget to ask Him if it is what He wanted me to do in the first place. Duh.
I have a hot date with John later to go dancing through the minefields of our kitchen. Live on purpose and you will find you have His strength. You also may just find yourselves living His plan after all. Be blessed dear ones.
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