Imagine my surprise...

Middle age...nope not me! Not for a few more days anyway, so there! There are no signs of my being older....well none except for the gravity that has some how taken control of my body parts, the wrinkles (we'll call them laugh lines, I do laugh a lot) the grey hair (yes, I am a natural read head and can prove it, just not in polite company) and now the eyes.
Well the eyes may not be a problem. I am still going on the fact that there is a world wide conspiracy of shrinking print everywhere. I am sure that someone came in and made the print smaller on the bottom of the lipstick I wanted to buy. Doesn't matter much, "Mixed merry" is just as nice as "Moxy mauve" anyway!
Well, Alice here, decided that if the print was going to be shrunk on me suddenly as it is, I would get glasses to combat the problem. We have great eye insurance so this was no problem at all. Yeah.
When the doc was done telling me I needed glasses for distance (I can read the road signs just not those darn, again, tiny street signs) he tested my eyes for reading. I waited patiently for him to switch the letters from Mandarin to English...um, no that would be the prescription level I needed for reading glasses.
The fact that they are now called Progressives does not change the fact that I am getting bifocals. Excuse Me?
I need to go. My Glenn Miller record is skipping and I need to warm up my prune juice before bed. Sigh, where did I leave my glasses?